Editor’s Be aware: The adhering to is a satirical report for The DisreGuardian, which are a series of posts released every year for The Guardian’s April Fool’s challenge.
In a surprise assertion launched on March 32, 2022, UC San Diego’s Related Students Office environment of Live shows and Situations introduced that Korean pop team BTS will be headlining the future Solar God Festival. The announcement that the 7 heartthrobs will be attending has been effectively been given by all customers of the UCSD local community as “finally a great use of scholar service fees.”
In an job interview with The UCSD Guardian, ASCE location planner Susan Reagan claimed that BTS’s functionality would consider area on the eighth ground of Geisel Library alternatively of the standard RIMAC Subject.
“This is the 1st time that we’ve gotten the likelihood to host this function in two yrs,” Reagan claimed. “Why do we have to stick so intently to traditions telling us that we can only use 1 distinct location or have only specific groups come? The acoustics for this Sunlight God will be critically superb. I say, let’s transform points up!”
BTS verified in a video clip unveiled on their Twitter account that they would be attending the event and noted that receiving to accomplish at Geisel Library was a “dream appear legitimate.”
“Yes, we could go to Los Angeles and have a wonderful and normal concert there as an alternative,” group leader and most important rapper RM claimed. “But when we observed pictures of the attractive, modern design and style of Geisel Library? We surely had to go and see it for ourselves.”
Not long immediately after the announcement was built, UCSD Chancellor LaKhos produced a giddy, campuswide e mail praising the lineup.
“For a extended time, I have been a happy member of the Military,” the electronic mail browse, referring to the identify of BTS’s fanbase. “I just finished discovering the choreography for ‘Blood, Sweat, and Tears’ final night. No person requested, but for the file, I would like to disclose that I am Jimin-biased.”
The e-mail went on to demonstrate that campus officers had been earning preparations to host BTS at numerous on-campus routines in the direct up to the concert. Pupil organizations this sort of as ARMYs at UCSD have declared designs to maintain a number of flash mobs in Rate Center and on Library Stroll.
RM and major vocalist Jeon Jungkook expressed an curiosity in working out with UCSD athletes at the RIMAC middle and the Alex Spanos Coaching Facility.
“RM explained to me that UCSD is a faculty for nerds, but I have read so many excellent factors about RIMAC and the Spanos Facility,” Jungkook claimed. “This is the number one particular position in the earth for upper entire body workouts so we can not hold out to get absolutely shredded at the gymnasium there!”
Vocalists Park Jimin, V, and Kim Seokjin informed The UCSD Guardian that they had been fascinated in taking a tour of the various dining halls throughout campus.
“There is so substantially food items there that we want to attempt,” V explained. “I heard people are specifically nuts for the Loco Mocos at Pines.”
Jimin and Jin went on to discussion about the pizza sauce flavors that they required to attempt at OVT. Just after a lengthy although, the two settled on making an attempt the pesto first.
Ultimately, rappers Suga and J-Hope mentioned that they planned to befriend the raccoons in the course of their keep on campus.
“We’re organizing to begin weekly dance classes with the raccoons to educate them the fundamentals,” J-Hope said. “By the close of the class, they’ll be equipped to pop and lock with relieve!”
“For myself, I want to operate rap workshops with the raccoons,” Suga included. “Who is familiar with, probably I’ll be equipped to aspect one of these fellas in my up coming mixtape! If any one is fascinated in both of these functions, appear obtain us in Warren Lecture Corridor!”
In purchase to discover extra, learners are encouraged to pay attention to BTS on all offered streaming platforms. The UCSD Guardian will supply further updates as they appear.
Photo courtesy of HYBE